. 
To have need of. A characterization of being needy ranks with coming off as stupid. Being phobic about seeming stupid may have been a cover to actually being stupid. Giving up a goldmine and becoming happier than a tick on a tampon is evidence of being so stupid you need to be watered twice a week. So like skipping the infarction and going right to the life sustaining therapy the stupid takes the cheese.
All of those neural pathways that faded seem to flavor the mental conversation as noticeably self-deprecating. The stupid got you into the barrel but even misfires sometimes hit the target and can we recognize the avoidance of the glory hole as a confirmed hit.
The nagging plea for a do-over would be the give away that stupid left you wishing you'd have stayed put. The only do-over wish here is to have tomorrow be exactly like today. The seasonal flourish brings with it some varied accents but hot damn the lingering R & R aspect makes that goldmine seem like sour balls in the under cushion of destiny's couch.
Cruisin' the highway for another bus stop comes just as the year of diagnoses winds down. My I voted sticker has ovaries.