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Somehow the lesson that you can't find yourself with just some blepharoplasty leads to what then?. Guess #1 is you've got to distinguish between Mayday Mayday and the compassion driven actuator called comfort me from thoughts afar. You've already noticed that you come across as standoffish. You've already figured you can't assume the fix depends on you and you alone or you're simply a snob.
When's the last time you jizzed from a gift? 1965? Maybe that's a start of figuring out why you blow off birthdays. Do you treat gifts with disdain because you already have everything you want/need or maybe you think you'll have to envelop yourself in someone to come up with a suitable reciprocation? Maybe your boyhood bounty enters in here. Or you're content with fuck presents.
The analyst thinking "what's the matter with you" comes without calling first. We digress because we love. We stand firm because that's how we got here.